Adult Tantrums and How to Deal With Them

first_imgWars and temper tantrums are the makeshift of ignorance; regrets are illuminations come too late – Joseph CampbellI have witnessed adults around me displaying some incorrigible and intolerable attitudes. I wonder, ‘Do I behave like that’ or ‘what if I do and I don’t know?’ So, I decided to dig deep into adult behaviours and I came across Adult Tantrums!! I was shaken yet intrigued.When we hear the word tantrum, we imagine a 5-year-old lying on the floor kicking, screaming or throwing things. Rarely do we use it to describe an adult having a flare-up. We don’t typically refer to an adult as having a tantrum. We refer to them as “just blowing off some steam.”Temper tantrums, in general, are disruptive and unruly behaviours or emotional outbursts that involve physical acts or screaming. Many children never develop good coping skills — the tantrums continue well into adulthood.We all go through spells of anger and even utter words we may regret later. An adult temper tantrum proves an inability to cope with negative emotions and can even be used as a form of manipulation.When you’ve been handed out the silent treatment, you know just how ruthlessly effective this type of emotional manipulation can be. You are consumed with guilt, and the longer it goes on, all you want to do is rectify your wrong — though you know you didn’t do anything wrong in the first place. However,  yielding to childish behaviour reinforces the message that this churlishness is appropriate behaviour. In future, they will continue acting this way because they know it gets them what they want. So learn your lessons well.Tantrums adults throw on a daily basis may include:1. Using a high pitch or a loud tone of voice while talking. Yes, it’s a kind of tantrum! Normally people talk in a medium to low tone or pitch. That’s good manners!2. Flinching, eyes rolling, frowning or no expression on the face. I didn’t think about it this way before, but these are actual tantrums, especially in a group or a workplace. Don’t make these a habit.3. Getting irritated at every little thing. Most of us throw this tantrum every day! Make a conscious choice and resolve to say no to it.4. Pacing back and forth in aggression.5. Aggressive hand gestures while talking face to face.Using phrases like “Don’t be such a baby”, “ Why are you being so silly”, “You’re crazy”, “Are you out of your mind?” – Guess what, all of this affects the adult even more than the reasons for their tantrums! So, just stop asking or reacting like this.Interacting with an adult who throws frequent tantrums can be a harrowing experience for those around them and leave them fatigued. When the person gets into THAT mood, they’re insensitive to anyone else’s feelings. It’s as if they’re able to ignore the fact that anyone else’s feelings matter except their own. They fail to show empathy for others and completely fixate on their own needs.In extreme cases, their thoughts become so irrational that they are unable to utilize logic and reasoning stops. Afterwards, the person will have little to no recollection about how they had been behaving and as a result, feel little need to offer an apology for their behaviour. Dealing with someone like that is a challenge indeed.The best way to deal with an adult tantrum is to remain calm,  be understanding,  lend a sympathetic ear, don’t take it personally and give the person time and spaceAn adult throwing tantrums can be because of the following reasons:Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder,  Bipolar disorder, Borderline personality disorder,  Obsessive-Compulsive disorder, Autism spectrum disorders, Narcissistic Personality, Substance abuse and Post-traumatic stress disorder.These reasons for adult tantrums are too much to even think about, but people actually have these issues and they must be acknowledged. People just aren’t aware of the side-effects of any mental health issue. We ignore our day to day behaviour thinking of it as a bad day, PMS, mood swings etc. But we must think about how often we are having a certain negative emotion or slight negative feeling. We must monitor ourselves — mentally, physically, emotionally & spiritually.1. JOURNALING: I personally feel that journaling or writing things down is the best way to create self-awareness. Journaling helps us to understand not just what’s happening around or with us but also what’s happening inside us. It keeps track of our emotions and helps us to introspect and avoid repeating mistakes. . So start today,  don’t procrastinate.2. WORKING OUT: Exercise, yoga, walking, running or any sport- any physical form of exercise is another way to channelize negative energy into something productive. It invigorates your brain and heart and also stabilizes you emotionally. Meditation is another way you can channelize the energy and stay calm and stress-free and stop overthinking.3. SWITCHING OFF: Stop using the television, phone, laptop or any other screen you’re using! Take a break from technology. Technology is a blessing but only if we use it judiciously. It can make us ignore all the blessings we have in our lives if we use it addictively. So switch off everything for a while. Do something else instead and come back to it when everything is under control. Don’t let yourself lose yourself during tough times.4. TALK ABOUT IT: Talking is the best way to feel better instantly. But it’s hard to be in control when your brain & heart are having a tussle. It can make you feel alone and anxious. If you cannot talk to someone, you can share your feelings in different ways. You can write blogs, create art, click pictures, or even create music. Once you share it with the world with self-belief, you’ll see that you’re not alone. There are many others who feel the same way.last_img read more